Dancing

I love to dance. I admit it for all the world to know. I love twirling around and not knowing what may come next and then being led through another set of intricate steps by a partner. The only problem with this whole 'wonderful' situation is that no one really likes dancing with me. I admit it, I am not a very good follower, I don't dance all that well, and I don't really look like a girl that people would ask to dance even if I was the only girl available. But you would think that some people would notice this and at least ask me to dance even out of pity. But they don't. Thus I remain horrid at the thing I love because I can never practice.

After spending 3 years taking dance classes at BYU and learning everything I could, I decided earlier this year to give up dancing because even though I love it so much, at the same time it was causing most of my sadness. The major hit that caused this decision was my Hungarian dance class at the end of last year. There were just enough boys and girls that there was always 1 extra girl. Guess who that one extra girl was every single class period? Yep, me. It wasn't all that bad during class, because the extra girl dances with the TA when he’s not busy, so I at least learned things faster than the others, but it still hurt every time to be rejected by my fellow classmates. The last straw was the final though. The teacher had to ask a boy to dance with me for each of the types of dances because no boy would ask me, and whenever I asked them they said they were already dancing with someone else. The final had about 5 dances so you can gradually see me get madder and madder after each dance and each rejection. The funny thing is that no one in the class noticed. The cameraman noticed and asked me about it later cause he had never seen that happen before in all the dance classes he’s taped, but not a single one of my 'friends' noticed. Needless to say, I was not amused.

After that incident I decided to give up dancing. What was the point, even if I go to the dances no one would ever dance with me unless they were obligated to (the teacher asks them to, or they like my roommate and are trying to get on my good side). There is a problem with giving it up though; I still love to dance. I still attend rec nights (an evening of folk dancing at BYU) where I can at least do the round dances that don’t require couples, and even some of the stuff that requires couples (as long as I danced the boy’s part, and even then I would sometimes be rejected). I love the rec nights, but each time I get sadder and sadder cause of all the dances that I have to sit out on. I never realized how much I would miss dancing till this summer started and I couldn’t go to any of the rec nights. For a while there I was even considering taking more dance classes. When I went home, my brother and his girl friend took me and my sister out contra dancing, and I loved it. I felt so happy and care free and I asked myself why I was quitting dancing, then I remembered my dance experience out west where I would never be asked to dance, and if I asked I was always rejected; that’s exactly what happened when I returned and went to a dance. It’s so sad, but it’s true.

So, now I need to come up with a new ‘hobby’. For years I read books, but that just isn’t fun anymore because I can’t find any new books that I like. Then I had band, but that slowly became less fun, which was when I picked up dancing. Now that I am ‘giving up’ dancing, what do I do for fun and relaxation during school? Nothing really strikes me as something I want to do, so this semester I am just taking normal classes from my majors. My roommate is trying to convince me to take organ lessons, but with my schedule I am not sure if I could fit in practice hours. It’s funny, but I feel kind of lost without something relaxing and fun in my schedule.